UnHernia'd

They say in the end... it doesn't even matter.

That maybe true, but it matters before the end. My hernia being repaired matters. I nearly can't remember what it was like before it. Grade six.

I've been jogging again. I'm sitting in class typing this, and listening to a lecture at the same time, retaining what I'm hearing instead of wincing in pain.

Doc: *with an air of uncertainty, almost like he's asking me* So I repaired a hernia? On September 28th?
Me: Mmhmm.
Doc: At the High River hospital?
Me: Mmhmm.
Doc: Right (cause if I said he did, he must have right?). They're nice down there are they? Treat you well?
Me: Oh yea, I was pleasantly surprised. It's a whole different experience from a city hospital.
Doc: Yea that's the problem see. You get a few people saying how great it is and everyone in town wants to drive down there. They're overrun! There was this guy, he had sever abdominal pain, Foothills told him to drive down to High River, he did, they told him to drive to Foothills because they're surgeon wasn't on that night, Foothills said they couldn't help him, go back to High River, so they called me and I took out his appendix at midnight. What a night for that poor guy.
Me: Holy. That's quite a story.
Doc: So how ya feelin?
Me: Oh pretty good.
Doc: Any bruising?
Me: Virtually none.
Doc: Good, good. So what do you do again?
Me: University, and I work at the Outdoor Centre.
Doc: Oh yea! so you're back there?
Me: Yep.
Doc: So when are you having your sale? Any boats for sale?
Me: Well they're trying to do away with the sales. The fall one just isn't worth our time. But I did get rid of two kayaks on Sunday.
Doc: Oh yea?! I just bought a kayak!
Me: Really? What'd you get?
Doc: *clearly perturbed* Oh jeeze.... I should know this.... uhhhh..... hmmmm. uhhhhh, a Jackson!
Me: A river kayak?
Doc: Yea, me and a buddy took our boats out last week. Only thing was I got a call from the hospital. I was supposed to be doing a surgery! Whoops! I was supposed to be working! Hahahaha!
Me: Ha. Funny.
Doc: Anyways, lets have a look.
Me: *drops pants*
Doc: That ridge there will disappear with time.
Me: Yea I was wondering about that.
Doc: Looks fine. Any questions?
Me: Well what exactly did you do?
Doc: Well there was a hole this big, and I put a plug in it. Four stitches around it, scar tissue will hold it in. The plug is a fabric, close relation to nylon.
Me: I see.
Doc: Anything else?
Me: Yea what are the chances this is somehow related to back problems?
Doc: None. You don't really get reference pain in the back from a frontal problem, but back problems do sometime cause reference pain in the front.
Me: Well my back has been remarkably better. Maybe it was just the days of rest. Maybe for years my body has been compensating and now it doesn't have to.
Doc: Ha, well if I fixed your back too, you owe me a coffee! *slaps me on the shoulder*

Is this guy for real? Walking out of the office I thought to myself that guy partied waaaayyy to much in college.
Doc: "But look at me now riiiiight?!! I'm a dok- tuuuurrrr! Hahahahah. toooootally wicked!"

Best surgeon evER?